I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
