i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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