Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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