What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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