i just wanna soil my oats bro
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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