So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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