Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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