We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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