guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
