I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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