More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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