make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
