If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
