I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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