I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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