He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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