you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
