hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
