I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm always down for nudity.
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