tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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