I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
