dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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