she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
