My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
