My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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