Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
