You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
