Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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