Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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