Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
