I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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