dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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