dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
