Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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