i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well you can't waste a boner
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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