why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
