I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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