On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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