Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.