My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize