Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have tasted many bathrooms
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
