2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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