I want to have your abortion
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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