No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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