summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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