Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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