Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
