on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
