why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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