apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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