You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
