grandma shit on top of the toilet
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am one with the molecules
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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