Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize