Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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