was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
