so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
