how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
