So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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