I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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