So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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