i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
