i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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