you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
