I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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