i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
