puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
