Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
