Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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