i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this boner is exhausting
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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